I broke :(

Today, I found out what it takes to break me. Not physically, but mentally. We did a 50 mile ride with some fellow Zers on a route I've heard stories of, but never done. It turns out a category 5 hill, with an 11% grade is enough to mentally do me in. I felt really good until that hill.

Taylorstown is the first category 5 hill I've ever climbed and to do it on the tri bike was just tough. I stopped half way up the hill, managed to calm down (breathing), got back on my bike, and had to stop again a few minutes later. I was just hyperventilating and couldn't slow down my breathing. I had let the hill get into my head. UGH.

While stopped on the T-town hill and between hyperventilating and with tears trying to come, I said to Jon (who lovingly stopped with me), "What if Maine's like this? What if I just can't do it?"He managed to talk me down and convinced me to walk the rest of the hill instead of worrying about getting back on it.

Paul came back to check on me (and Jon) and rode back up next to us walking the hill. He also helped me up the next Category 5 - Stumptown. I think he was worried about the mindf*** that was Taylortown, so he literally stayed right next to me. At one point, he put his hand on my back and helped push me up the hill. That freaked me out a bit because I generally don't like to ride that close to people, but it was nice knowing that someone had my back (figuratively and literally!).

I need to get my head out of where it went. Even now, typing this out, I want to cry. I'll probably do it at some point today.

Tracy and I after Taylorstown - aka "stupid hill"

I also learned that I need to call Infinit and get the whey protein removed from my mix. My tummy was NOT happy today. 

Hopefully this weekend has shaken out the crap before the race.